CHANGE OF ADDRESS"
                                                                                                          By Yul Tolbert
 

In another world much like the one we know of -- in another dimension if you will --
there three twenty-something friends who were quite happy with their lives until recently. First of the three friends was Audi, a brown-hired Asian girl who was the unofficial leader of the group. Then we have Jess, a blond guy in overalls who overreacted on occasion. And then there was Leon, a person of Middle-Eastern decent who was known for his reasoning skills. Lately, all three became very concerned about the daily reports suggesting that the spreading dictatorship in their world would eventually reach their part of it. So over several months, the three saved up enough money to buy a moving truck and supplies for their planned escape from a possible totalitarian future. With everything for their move acquired, the three drove from their hometown of several hundred thousand people to the vast desert region outside of town.

Within a day of their journey, they approached the forbidden zone known as the Triangular Hexagon -- a legendary region of mysterious phenomena. Since the Triangular Hexagon was feared by most throughout their world, the three felt it was unlikely that those involved in the spreading dictatorship would peruse them into the region. But that wasn't enough for two-thirds of the trio. Jess and Leon thought that they'd be even more safe from the spreading dictatorship if they entered one of numerous transportal caves reported to exist in the Triangular Hexagon -- caves that could lead to other dimensionns. Though Audi was reluctant about the idea, she eventually agreed that they should try one of the transportal caves.About half-an-hour later, the three found and entered a transportal cave. It was dark and damp like any other cave. But after driving through the cave for a few minutes, a huge but brief flash of light surrounded the three travelers. Immediately thereafter, they arrived in another dimension. They entered a substantially mysterious realm totally unlike anything they've seen before. Audi noted the new world seemed to
have an artificial feel to it. Jess and Leon soon found themselves in agreement with that assessment. For the next hour, the three drove across the somewhat smooth though occasionally very bumpy surface of the mysterious realm with very few incumberences. Eventually, they approached what they described as large mysterious mounds. There were two sets of these five mounds -- each mound having what can be described as a smooth rocky plate on its surface. The three soon decided that they would live on one of the mounds and as such they would build their house there.

After parking their truck next to the largest of the five mounds they first came across, they removed some of the equipment from their truck -- most notably a ladder. With the ladder in place, the three carried equipment from the truck to the top of the mound. Digging a foundation was initially a priority in their home construction. But the smooth rocky plate was far too hard to dig through using shovels. Leon even tried using a jackhammer to dig through the plate, but very little progress was made. With that being the case, the three decided not to build a basement.When the three were half-way through the construction of their house, Audi suddenly noticed something weird about their locale.  "That structure over there looks like a gigantic toenail," Audi said referring to one of the nearby "mounds." "And the structure we're on looks like a gigantic toenail too. I don't think this can be a coincidence. Therefore I feel compelled to conclude that we're standing on the toenail of some gargantuan giant."  "Yes, it's a coincidence, Audi. You're crazy." replied Jess.  "Yeah!" agreed Leon. "Mountain-sized giants don't exist."  "But look carefully, guys! These 'mounds' really do look like gigantic toes and those smooth rocky plates look like gigantic toenails!"  "I still don't see it." Jess said.  "Yeah," added Leon. "And even if these plates do look like giant toenails, they could be the toenails of some super-massive human statue built by some long-gone civilization centuries ago. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for why these mounds and rocky plates look the way they do, but I don't think that explanation involves mega-giants. But whatever the case, we can look into it later. Right now, we should focus on finishing the house."  Of course Audi was right. She and her friends were on the surface of the toenail of a "mountain-sized" giantess. The giantess was a barefoot, scantily-clad African American woman named Colleen, and she was sleeping in her sofa chair in her home as the three tiny one's invaded her toenail.

 The three eventually completed their house. Not long afterward, an "earthquake" occurred. Of course the "earthquake" was really Colleen flexing her toes as she awoke. And as Colleen was about to get out of her chair, she noticed something on the big toenail of her right foot.  "Wha...? Is that a Monopoly house on my toenail?" she said as she reached down to the tiny home on her toenail.  The three tiny ones immediately looked skyward to see a gigantic female hand with three-inch-long fingernails about to grab at the house they just completed.   "Oh my god!! Oh my god!!" screamed Jess. "Audi, you were right! We're standing on the toenail of a gargantuan giantess! Now she's going to kill us with her long sharp fingernails!!  "Calm down, Jess," assured Audi. "I think there's a good chance that won't happen."  Just as Colleen was about to grab the house with the tips of her long, long fingernails, Audi made her presence known to the mammoth giantess.  "Hold it, giantess! Hold it!! Hold it!!" Audi announced.  "Oh my god!" exclaimed Colleen. "Tiny people on my toenail!"  Colleen was indeed very shocked at the sight of three one-eight-inch tall people on her toenail. She immediately halted her attempt to grab the tiny house. Audi then quickly explained the circumstances at hand to Colleen. She told the giantess about how she and her friends arrived in Colleen's world to escape the spreading dictatorship of the world of their origin. She also told Colleen that they weren't initially aware that they built their house on her toenail. Colleen was completely understanding about the situation the three were in. But of course she explained that they couldn't live on her toenail. And when Audi expressed the group's refusal to return to their homeworld, Colleen suggested that they can live somewhere in her house were they'd be safe -- a windowsill to be more specific.   With all four in agreement, the three tiny ones entered their abode.

Then Colleen very slowly and very carefully lifted the tiny house from the surface of her toenail. As she walked over to the windowsill caring the house between the thumbnail and index fingernail of her left hand, Colleen and the three briefly got to know each other. Seconds later, Colleen had the misfortune of stepping on a tack. "Ouch!!!" screamed Colleen as the tack penetrated her left foot. She immediately dropped the house, lost her balance and crushed the tiny domicile with her left foot. Seconds later, while sitting on the floor, Colleen examined the underside of her left foot. The house was crusted on the bottom of her foot, crushed flatter than a sheet of paper! As for the house's occupants, they too were crushed beyond recognition. Of course Audi, Jess and Leon were killed before they knew what hit them. But if they had known what hit them, they might be of the mind to believe that there's nothing more undignified than being crushed to death in a house that's been flattened by a massive female foot nearly the size of two football fields. "Oh no!! Oh no!! I killed them!! I killed them!!" sobbed Colleen uncontrollably. Colleen couldn't live with herself knowing that she horribly murdered her new tiny friends.  But luckily, the whole incident turned out to be a nightmare. Audi, Jess and Leon
were just characters in Colleen's dream. After Colleen woke from her dream, still sitting in her sofa chair, she thought, "I sure am glad there really ain't no tiny people messin' with my toenails." Or were there? As Colleen breathed her sign of relief about her nightmare, a fairly large number of one-eighth-inch tall men were busy messing around with her toenail. By use of a rope, the tiny ones climbed up the big toe of her right foot and immediately crawled underneath her toenail. And Colleen would never know of them -- until some time later. But that's a different story of course.